Pictured Above: An illustrative guide to the "Trash Filet"

In one of my usual trash-runs, I found an interesting article disgorged from the Belhaven College library system. Belhaven Creek runs behind the college, and was no doubt the waterway through which these pages passed. I apologize for the incomplete nature of the find, and for besmirching the ancient nature of this joke, which likely existed even before 1486.

A Guide to Unused Modern Collective Nouns

by Josephia G. Boswell

Wiktionary Widget Project

A SUBREDDIT of assholes.

A HEARING of blowhards.

A CHUNDRY of unwashed laundry.

An EYEGOUGE of Dilbert Cartoons.

A PRIUSPISM of Prius Drivers.

A LOSTLESS of pointless smoke monsters.

A SANDWICH of Greenwich Mean Time enthusiasts.

A HITLORE of History Channel programs.

AN ANGSTROMCOM of Big Budget Film Directors.

A JEROMISTAN of Jeromes.

A KILLINGER of Cambodian Bombings.

A MASTERBANKTION of mortgage loans.

A QUAALITUDE of Zen Masters.

A DRONNYBANK of Military Industrial lobbyists.

An OPECK of oil-shale.

A PERFIDITY of perfumes.

A POTHOLESWORTH of car parts in Jackson.

A TWITTER of high tech misogynistic stalkers.

An F-UVERSE of Comcast Employees.

A VENTRON of pointless internet comments.

A WHATTSWIM of Global Warming denialists.

An XXXONOBYTE - an amount of stored digital pornography, greater than 1 GB.

YOURSAPHONES - people who use "You're" and "your" inconsistently and incorrectly.

A XENOPHOBOPHONEOPILE of people screaming at immigrants.

FPJEROME