While intern Chad Buffington, aka "B.C." was thought to have been forever banned from publishing in Pearl River Flow after his first and last hot take, he's been sending over 80 thousand word screeds for the past few weeks, and linking us to the one hundred twenty eight fifty-nine minute YouTube videos he's done since his conversion, and we didn't have any free content for the weekend. He now goes by the name "Eannatum of Lagash," and we've presented
Far Harbor: Fallout, but Ruined by the Social Justice Agenda
by Eannatum of Lagash
"CUCK!" I shout as the combat shotgun erases white guilt from the island of Far Harbor. "CUCK!" It is the only word I know now, it fills my cortex with hate and rage. "CUCK!" I want to make America great again. "CUCK!" It's all I can yell. All I have ever yelled, my only cry left to me, a secret shibboleth hidden from anyone who doesn't watch a ton of pornography or study Shakespeare. I am no longer shackled to my ancient past as a blue-pilled bore, enslaved to the radical feminist Marxists who secretly rule the world. No. I have gone my own way, a Way of the Warrior, as I explained in parts 29-98 of my YouTube series, "Eannatum of Lagash: Lightningankle was Right." They're only 59 minutes apiece, so it's just about 68 hours of eye-opening information that you should watch the next time you have three spare days on your hand.
My rage is at Fallout 4's "Far Harbor" expansion pack, and I am glad I have picked the name of one of the most ancient Emperors on Earth, for today I am exposing the truth, like Emperors do, just like in the story about how an Emperor got a town to look at his junk.
FACT 1a: The radical feminist agenda is loaded with long-term, low payoff, high-cost plans of questionable value.
FACT 1b: Fallout 4 was targeted by a malicious group of social Marxists from day one, for glorifying violence, which they only enjoy when they get to use it against men. This is impossible in Fallout 4 (see fact 3a).
FACT 2b: Fact 2a is only available on my YouTube channel, in Video 111: Anime Tiddy: ManChrist Episode 7/14, which may seem to mostly be about anime pornographies to download, but is in fact a cutting insight into modern "feminism."
Fact 2c: While so-called "feminists" railed against the so-called "Woman in the Fridge" trope being the beginning of Fallout 4 (and if you want to see why that trope doesn't really exist, check out Episodes 22 and 23: Black Captain America and Other Lies Your Professor Told You, Parts 1 and 2), I and many other brave thought leaders correctly and insistently pointed out online that the "fridge" in question was actually a cryogenic freezing chamber, calmly navigating a minefield of "women" telling us to shut up, stop talking to them, and stop following them around - even though it's not technically "illegal" to do any of that!
Fact 1d: I know we're mixed up now, but putting things in numbered lists is kind of my thing and I wanted this list to be longer.
Fact 3a: There is a "Black Widow" perk and a "Lady Killer" perk, and they each apply to a "different" sex which makes "feminists" "mad."
Fact 3b: Fallout 4: Far Harbor came out after Fallout 4, giving the Troskyists a chance to "make their Marx" - a joke that you would totally get if you watched Part 9 of my series: "The Marxman - How Snipers are Basically Communists, Therefore TF2 Got Everything Wrong, part 3/8."
Fact 2e: My previous employer taught me ciphers and codes, by which I have decoded the secret messages of the SJW cabal. By using a Vigenere Cipher to encode the name “Far Harbor” with the passphrase CUCKSERVATIVE, which is totally something a twenty-something “feminist” on tumblr would do in her copious spare time, you get the phrase “Hutrsvsjr” which is clearly their way of saying “Hunters vs Jr,” as in the WoW class favored by filthy casual gamers, versus CHILDREN. THEY ARE HUNTING CHILDREN, SHEEPLE.
Fact d3: Far Harbor was released on May 19th, the exact same day that Vladimir “Cuckunist” Lenin established the “Vladimir Lenin All-Union Pioneer Organization,” which was like the Boy Scouts, BUT FOR COMMUNISTS! COINCIDENCE??!?11?
Fact 4a: But of course, this is personal. I didn't make it personal. I am a being of pure logic, able to use nothing but math to see any side of any argument and incapable of being so emotional that “I” would take something “personally.” There is no self, sheeple! Wake up! How can I be selfish or self-absorbed if there is no self? This wasn’t about me, but the SJW cuckspiracy made this ALL ABOUT ME. Why? Because as I heroically "pointed out" in my first installment on Pearl River Flow, which has cowardly refused to print my previous 36 essays on the maleficent behavior of video "game" journalists and "developers," Fallout 4 makes you run a Glue Plantation and become an Emperor of the Wastelands - my first taste of the Red Pill world.
Now that "we" have our “facts,” let's see how "they" ruined this game just to spite "me."
They added more duct tape and wonderglue. This has the effect of making my Glue Plantations less valuable - to the point that it's not even necessary for me to Lord over the various settlements with the force of my Super Sledge.
There's duct tape everywhere! And where there's no duct tape, there's wonderglue. The only possible explanation is that they read my exegesis on Fallout 4 and squelched my Imperial Outlet.
Of course, there's more of the Radical Social Culture War Marxist Justice Agenda on tap - they can't be content with simply ruining the only thing I enjoyed in the whole game - yelling "cuck" at the screen while my character made glue out of "fruit" and water.
No, they had to throw in "the" Jewish Agenda. See, Far Harbor throws in lots of new enemies - but none of them are KOSHER.
Hermit crabs, shellfish, frogs, salamanders, giant insects? None of that is kosher, so of course it's "the other." The enemy. It mindlessly attacks the player (clearly the player has become an avatar for Judaism at this point) and must be destroyed.
Of course, since even when "the" Feminist Globalists "win," they still "lose," I found several in-game references that gave a clear indication of the intent and purpose of the valiant game "designers" and brogrammers, but of course, "coincidence" would have it that my computer destroyed most of them. I can only, therefore, assume, that the game designers were under extreme duress, probably by blue and red-haired harpies. "My" proof is this: Well known agitator Noam Chompsky is shown as destroying the seas, such as would happen if we listened to his alarmist propaganda on so-called "Global" Warming.
Damnit, could someone start making some content around here so we don't have to publish crap like this? Can we steal some unpaid interns from Gawker?