HEAVY METAL BIBLE
Here at Pearl River Flow, we like a few things. One, we like pretending to be more than one person. Two, litter by the river. That should be obvious. Three, Mark Twain and Robert G. Ingersoll. Four, lists that go to five. Five, heavy metal.
I mean, we like more than five things. Sure. But that's five things we like.
So, we grew up reading our bibles, and listening to heavy metal, and then being supremely disgusted when Christian music did not pick up the electric bass and grab some verses from that old testament. Except when they did! When they did, it was awesome.
But in case you're in a heavy metal band (statistics show that the readers of this blog do not actually exist) - welcome! Get ready to pen down some Old Testament of METAL.
To those of you complaining about which translation or context I'm fucking up, just grab your flaming baseball bat and gas mask and get METAL instead of complaining.
Track One: Answers in Genocide.
I kill the beasts of Earth
I drown the flesh
All living things
I will destroy
Drown! Drown in vengeful hatred!
Now - who will anger the Lord?
Track Two: Exodus of Hate
Kill the bull before your Lord!
Cover altar in the blood!
Cut the fat from the organs
That is my perfume
Take the flesh and skin and shit and BURN it!
This is what is commanded by your god!
Track Three: Ox Goad Genocide
Grab your goad for herding oxen
Thrust it through their eyes
Take it and murder by the hundreds
Drive them all to DIE
Shamgar will murder the father and the brother and the sons
Shamgar he will murder murder Shamgar he will murder all!
Track Four: Fuck Ethiopia
Forests cut down kill kill kill kill the groves
Build the towers and the walls
Build the gates and build the bars
Then kill one thousand thousand
A million men from the Cush
They flee as you chase and loot and crush
Burn the cities on the plain
Loot those that wail in pain
One million dead
Whoa, We Are Not Doing A Song About JOB. That is too fucked up
-signed, HEAVY METAL
Track Five- Psalt The Earth
God comes forth, Earth shakes and trembles
Hills thrown down in wrath they crumble
Smoke and fire come from his nostrils
God lays down black water and darkness to stride
Then he flies upon an angel and in the dark he will hide
Casting hail and fire at the light, blot out the sun
Raining razors and arrows, calling electricity
God kills you all just to save me
...we were going to do more, but.... damn, there's just too much material.