Local Eccentrics Successfully Avoid The Realilty of Nuclear War

On June 21st, a plethora of local eccentrics came to the Mississippi Trademart for the largest convention of geek culture Jackson has ever seen, despite the fact that nuclear armageddon continues to threaten all life on planet Earth.

Some people did, however, be sure to inform the audience about proper fallout-protection gear.

That Saturday, people gathered near the colosseum, proudly wearing their best handcrafted costumes culled from a wide variety of popular culture sources. The more inclusive mantra of “Pop Culture Con” was decided up by the convention creators, who most certainly would perish in a nuclear holocaust, as Jackson is downwind from the fallout from the Barksdale Air Force Base in Shreveport, Louisiana, a likely first-strike target in a global thermonuclear war.

    Many local and regional groups were in attendance for the willful forgetting of the inevitable radioactive nightmare that is the future. Fans of Star Trek, Star Wars, and Doctor Who were all there, and I was informed that not even The Doctor is not capable of treating radiation poisoning.

Here, locals prepare for their inevitable future as irradiated, florescent tailed mutants roving the wastelands. At least they appear to have each other, or are at least teaming up to more efficiently scavenge the ruins of society.

While Jacksonians have previously hosted similar events in order to distract ourselves from the omnipresent specter of an irradiated future, this event has been called "Jackson's First Comic-Con" by the local media, which is further evidence that they should never be trusted, listened to, read, or in any way consumed except perhaps as fire-starters. Should you meet anyone with a news camera in Jackson, you should take it from them, as they are likely going to harmfully misinform someone with it.

Here, a local agent demonstrates a mock "field euthanasia" that will have to be carried out upon burn victims, such as the one pictured, after a nuclear strike, as there are only 54 burn centers in the United States, and all will be over capacity given even a single nuclear attack on an American city of any size.

However, this certainly was the largest of these events so far, a reliable indicator that the bombs will be falling any day now. While there were a great many Doctors in attendance, there were no Ghostbusters or Bellydancers this year. There was a costume contest, however, and while the CBRN defense suit is a practical short-term protection against the endless existential threat of nuclear warfare, the enterprising young man who wore one did not win.

First place went to a young lady in an impressive Holly Golightly outfit, a callout to the tumultuous year of 1961, when the Soviet Union tested the most destructive bomb ever detonated, Tsar Bomba. I was unable to get a picture of Miss Golightly, but the second place winner was Elizabeth Comstock, the med-kit and bullet-throwing heroine of Bioshock Infinite.

Elizabeth's medicine bag would prove useless for treating the victims of a nuclear bomb, however, her ability to tear holes into alternate universes could provide us with a way to see how often humanity has fallen to this seemingly inevitable fate.

Comics and writings from local artists and authors were on display and for sale at the convention, which brought in artists and fans from around the country. Stand up comedians Unlockable Characters were there, offering dry and hopeless gallows humor in the face of the extinction of our species. They failed to distract the audience from the weight of this threat, though that might have been the fault of the poor sound quality in the PA system, an aspect of the convention that should be improved if Earth is not be bathed in nuclear fire before this time next year.

Here, a mutant hides his deformities with face paint in order to abduct a young child he will undoubtedly eat later.