Carbonara (aka “spaghetti alla carbonara, if you’re feeling fancy)

Serves 4. It’s really REALLY rich, so keep that in mind when you’re making it for 2 or 1.

What you need:

Ingredients:

1 lb spaghetti

8 oz. guanciale bacon. If you can’t get guanciale bacon, some regular bacon works just fine.

½ bundle or so of Italian parsley

2 cups finely freshly grated parmesan cheese

2 eggs

5 heads garlic, chopped

1 bundle green onions, chopped, white and green parts kept seperate

Water (some amount)

Pepper (to taste)

Equipment:

Stovetop with at least 2 eyes

Whisk

Deep pot capable of sauteing, like a dutch oven

Pot for boiling spaghetti

Four bowls for holding ingredients at the ready

Strainer (spaghetti)

Heat-safe container for saving pasta water

Small headed stirring spoon that won’t tangle on spaghetti

Something to gently scrape that bottom of your dutch oven

Four serving bowls

Personal Things:

A very uncluttered kitchen counter space that you’ve cleared after you finish chopping and grating and cracking eggs.

A good sense of timing.

HOW TO DO IT:

First and foremost, you’re going to need to consider this: All your cheese will need to be grated and your eggs ready to go and your saute perfect the SECOND your noodles are ready. It’s best to do all your prep first, begin the saute, and don’t start boiling pasta until you’re DONE, or VERY close to being done. You can let the saute simmer, but you can’t let that pasta sit!

FIRST, chop your guanciale (or bacon) into ¾ or ½ inch squares. If it’s not sliced, slice it first, about ¾ inch thick. Put it in your dutch oven, lid off, and turn your stovetop up to about ¼ heat - nice and low at first. You want to draw the fat out of the guanciale to cook everything else in, so that low cooking will help, there.

Start chopping up those heads of garlic and the onions. If you think five heads is too many, use less. If you think five heads is not enough, use more. Go nuts. Once the fat starts collecting in the bottom of the pan, turn the heat up a little bit and add the garlic and the white parts of the onion. Save the greens for later.

This is a good time to shred all your cheese, chop all your parsley, and crack the eggs into a small bowl. Whisk those eggs.Once that’s done it’s a good time to clear everything away and start your pasta boiling. I’m not going to explain how to cook pasta. Use spaghetti. Angel hair is too thin, fettuccine too thick, and look: just use spaghetti.

Seriously, the key here is to have everything together at the right time. You want your bowl of parsley and green onion tops, your bowl of beaten eggs, your bowl of parmesan, and cup for your pasta water all sitting RIGHT THERE and ready to roll!

Turn your saute eye off once the pasta is 95% done (just the tiniest bit of bite to it) and save yourself some pasta water. I save a cup but usually only use half that.

Drain the pasta and IMMEDIATELY pour the pasta into the dutch oven. You’re trusting the residual heat of the pasta and the dutch oven to cook eggs, so you want to be quick! AS SOON AS THE PASTA HITS THE PAN, pour the eggs and parmesan in at the same time, then the greens. Stir it so it doesn’t stick to the pan, alternating between clockwise and counterclockwise motions, and a salad-tossing motion. Add any pasta water to get it to the right moisture level (you may not need any!) and serve IMMEDIATELY. Cover it in freshly cracked black pepper as you eat!