Ideas that are better than, or at least similar to, inviting Donald Trump to the Grand Opening of the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum.

1: Inviting Roy Moore to the Reopening of Northpark Mall

2: Inviting the Champawat Tigress to Children’s Museum Opening

3: Sparkler Night at the Fabric Museum

4: Guest Speaker: Towser, the Glennturret Mouser, at the International Museum of Mice

5: Static Shock Days at the CPU Factory

6: Jenny McCarthy’s Vaccination Clinic

7: Lemon Juice Day at the Baking Soda Warehouse

8: Bleach and Comet Mixer Night

9: Watergun Fight at the National Archives

10: Knife Day at Parchman Penitentiary

11: Bring Someone Else’s Kids to Work Day (No Asking)

12: Making Jeffrey Dahmer spokesman for Soylent

13: Fish Head Scented Air Freshener

14: AA Field Trip: Distillery Tours

15: Scrote-Blades: The Knife for your Balls

16: Mike Pence Themed Strip Club Called “Mothers”

17: Special Presentation by the Duggar Family at the Fertility Clinic

18: Making Donald Trump President of the United States

19: Diabetes Luncheon, Catered by Krispy Kream

20: “Make Yourself Respectable” Presentation by FPJEROME